Sep 25, 2017 Last Updated 9:00 PM, Sep 25, 2017
Dizzyjuice

Dizzyjuice

Most widely known for never suppressing his impulse control disorder, and his stubborn position on the jet fuel vs. steel beams argument, Dizzyjuice is your typical renaissance man. An avid photographer, chef, classically trained musician, meme addict, philanthropist, and IT geek, he spends most of his spare time watching hours upon hours of ‘related videos’ on YouTube, and then purchasing random things to try and recreate them. Most notably, however, is that he hates it when biographies don’t end the way you octopus.

Project CARS 2 sets the benchmark for what a true racing sim release should be. With exquisite graphics, exceptional realism, and palpable thrill, the gauntlets have been thrown down, and it’s up to every other dev to try and get close to this masterpiece of its genre. Now for a fresh dose of caffeine… it’s time to shave some time off my split!

With deadly bugs that prevent key gameplay mechanics, zero replayability, and an astonishingly small amount of content (<30 minutes to complete), Beat the Game is a visual masterpiece more akin to a brief bad trip at a Tomorrowland than an actual game. If you’re into audio or music production and are looking for something that will let you develop and explore it in a different light, you will be disappointed. However, when it comes to cinematography, BtG is a high nine. With a bit more care and effort from solid game and sound designers, this novelty release could have been great. And if you need drugs to enjoy music, you’re doing it wrong.

If only Diablo III was this fun and exciting to play between all the fluff and management overhead, I wouldn’t have abandoned it; Redeemer has excatly what I want when I crave quick, well-produced top-down action content. The secret sauce and energy are in full effect, and the face bashing is exceptionally fun both with hands, along with the more advanced killing methods. Зашибись!

For an initial exposure to a cycling team management simulator, the experience is incredibly favorable. Anyone with interest in professional cycling would relish Pro Cycling Manager 17, and it might also perhaps help improve their own pedaling mastery in the process. However, if you’re not a hardcore fan of the sport, be aware that this may be too many spreadsheets and strategic decisions, and not enough action. Now, back to the spandex!

TEKKEN 7 is well thought-out and produced — to the level of awe. TEKKEN 7 punches the stereotype of simplistic arcade fighters right in the face, and establishes itself as the gold standard that will be difficult to unseat for quite a while.

Forts is an exceptional example of how a release can properly integrate many mechanics, from multiple genres, and get it right. The fast-paced challenge of managing multiple tasks before you’re obliterated creates a sense of urgency and an increased heart rate that you wouldn’t normally find from a title that simply leverages one of these mechanics. Buy Forts, and make a solid investment in your game library.

Domina frustrated me beyond belief, but in the best way. I thought I had planned a match out to perfection, got slaughtered, but loved every minute of it. I only wish there was more to the game, as restarting again at square one became a little tedious after a while. Despite that, I will still revisit it time and again for a quick fix of blood and profanity.

Though the production quality isn’t terrible, when compared to other titles in the genre, there’s nothing that makes World Rally Championship 6 special, other than the fully licensed vehicles and drivers. If you’re in it for the name and brand recognition, then this title is probably for you. Otherwise, either buy Dirt Rally or put your $44.99 in a piggy bank and save up for a real rally car.

Styx: Shards of Darkness has renewed my trust in the game trailer once again. After removing the plush padding of the cinematic trailer, I wasn’t disappointed by what I saw in the actual gameplay. On the contrary, I was welcomed by a well-rounded stealth puzzler that I plan on playing (with) for quite some time into the future.

A Filet De Boeuf Braise Prince Albert costs you about $60 to make, which is oddly the same amount that the fourth release in the Mass Effect franchise will run you. But the filet of beef has an incredible amount of thought, love, and passion; none of that was present in the making of Mass Effect: Andromeda. 2/10. You could waste $60 on one of the most reviled titles in recent history and log countless hours playing alone in the basement, or you could spend the same amount on the most fabulous dinner you’ve ever made, and more than likely get laid.

Be mindful that if you pick this title up, which I think you should, you’ll be doing all the legwork in your brain while still keeping your heart rate down. Though simple and straightforward, and thoroughly enjoyable, this style of gameplay is not for everyone. That said, take some time away from the crazy stuff and chill out with Lifeline. Hats off to the developer for putting together a great story in an elegant, minimal package that still brings it home.

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