May 29, 2017 Last Updated 11:00 AM, May 29, 2017

Rockstar Games: The Last Bully In Line To Give A Damn

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Hey Rockstar Games, where the hell is the overhyped, long fabled Bully 2 sequel?

After almost ten years of hard feelings, corporate propaganda, official statements of broken development promises, and perceived intentional spite in regards to the PC gaming community, Bully’s impending 10th birthday in October is sour grapes on a fan base fed up with the bullshit.

But in this Windows platform reality, it’s not like they ever gave that much of a damn anyway.  Let the record show that the original Bully was skipped completely over the PC platform.  In fairness, so were the lackluster Grand Theft Auto Stories and the phenomenal Red Dead Redemption

Even in the best of circumstances, Rockstar titles are a craptastic shitfest for Windows.  The routine and familiar carnage of screen freezes, random crashes, and reboots during play are a bitter reminder of Rockstar’s slop jar attitude towards the silent but pissed off minority. 

Right around that time of the first Bully 2 rumors, L.A. Noire was released to PC to distract the fans.  It might would have worked had the great majority of us weren’t forced to enjoy it in extreme slow motion patch after patch.  No one likes that when you could have gotten off your lazy asses and actually figured out what was going on with the code as a matter of priority like consoles get.

Instead, the cavalier lack of working updates or support has left any innovations after release to the fans.  Perish the thought that the fans would care enough to do Rockstar salaried jobs better than they seem to.  Bully: Scholarship Edition is a proud testament to a cult following on the PC platform; the fan-created mods are just but a glimpse into the direction the game should have developed into.

The jig is up Rockstar; fans are tired of bringing the changes you refuse to do for Bully.  It makes absolutely no sense why the Scholarship Edition remastering project is being led slowly but surely by a one-man team when this is something you should have done instead of all those damn Grand Theft Auto offshoots!  Seriously, the world would have been better off without Chinatown Wars.

It boggles the thinking mind sometimes how you, Rockstar Games, develop titles exclusively on a computer, and yet are so greedy for console money completely ignore the majority of your market share.  Do you have any idea how horrible PC fans feel to see the Wii get a hot title with consideration in mind before Windows does?  That is a proverbial slap in the face that Scholarship Edition was announced before our platform and not even a port!

Let me guess, PC fans should take comfort in the memory that you additionally sidestepped the PS2 Bully fans and ignored them as well in that retool cyclone, right?  At least we can have some cross platform solidarity on bad handling for vehicles, corrupted auto save features that cheat you out of game progression, and days on end load times.  Nothing better provides YouTube walkthrough moments like a Rockstar forever loading screen.

Okay, the past is your future and the Windows platform needs some answers.  Let’s start with why every flagship title in the Rockstar catalog has gotten a sequel BUT Bully?  Or why it’s been ten years with no definitive proof you are even doing a sequel?  Last time I checked, everything but the kitchen sink at Rockstar Games goes to E3 for a hype marketing campaign.  Haven’t seen a trailer yet in ten years. 

Most importantly, should Bully 2 see the light of day, is it going to come out for Windows, and comparable to the time table release of consoles, or should we start getting pitchforks if it turns into another Red Dead Redemption skip fiasco?

Congratulations!  You’re not at the top of the heap anymore, Rockstar. 

The majority of your flagship spinoffs are not enough to soothe the savage PC beast revolting in pisstivity about having to wait two years for you to get up off your asses and throw a crumb infested port over to Windows, if that.  Should the fabled sequel become fact, the least you can do to make amends is show a little gratitude, right?  A first version release exclusively to Windows first is not a big thing to ask, now is it? 

The Grand Theft Auto III hype is fifteen years gone.  It’s just not enough to put all of your eggs in one basket, and then claim there in there without a visual.  Bully PC bastard stepchildren will revolt in the Rockstar universe, with or without your approval.  Time’s up.  Shit, or get off the Bully pot.

Gwendolyn L. Spelvin

Gwendolyn L. Spelvin is a philosopher of the Edward Bernays Century of Self, a follower of Sigmund Freud’s explorations of the subconscious mind through chemical means, and an avid enthusiast of Adolph Hitler’s short-lived ballet career before he rose through the ranks of the Third Reich. Spelvin had dedicated her post academic career as an innovative writer that creates a written vision to prove misanthropic tendencies works with an audience, crafting a message that sways public approval towards her client’s products to the guarantee of the masses blindly supporting the company agenda without them knowing it. A dirty job, but someone has to pacify the idiots who know not what they blindly support into a continuing trek of oblivion. Last, but not least, Spelvin is a firm believer in the annihilation of the JUSTIN BELIBERS. Currently she is working on her cookbook, To Serve A Hot Man: Jeffrey Dahmer's Classic Recipes due out this Christmas.

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