Tuesday, 20 September 2016 00:00

Intensive Exposure Review

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Have you ever dreamed of sharing your special purpose with the world?

The private part of you that no one else ever sees? Intensive Exposure gives you that chance! You can open up, reveal what’s been hidden, and then flee as if your life depends on it. Because it does.

Intensive Exposure casts you in the role of the friendly, neighborhood flasher. At work, the market, or at the museum, your goal is to surprise-share your schlong with the women of the world. Unfortunately, not everyone is a fan of making privates public. To keep your head, you will have to dodge slap-happy Berthas and angry security guards on your quest to waggle your wang in front of as many ladies as possible.

First Impression

There was no way I wasn’t going to play this game. As a first-tier fan of Leisure Suit Larry, I can’t resist a silly touch on digital debauchery. I wasn’t disappointed when I launched it for the first time. If there is a way to do block-style pixel art right, this is it. It has depth and shape, while maintaining its square dimensions and limited color pallet. The brick-like busts of the women in this game will be the envy of those forever-flat Minecraft maidens.

Digging into the options, I discovered the default censoring setting had options. Specifically, the player is allowed to choose an icon to cover the character’s Kielbasa while he frantically flashes it around., and these are hilarious. Among the choices are a cheerful rainbow, a grinning unicorn, or a kitty with a ball-gag. My favorite was the skull and crossbones.

Game Play

The controls are simple. Arrow keys to move, “E” to drop obstructions in front of pursuers, and “Space” to expose your Mary Pop-Up to the world.

You start out in a standard office full of cubicles, filing cabinets, and an inordinate amount of security guards. Although the layout of the playfield never changes, there is some randomization to where people are placed, so each playthrough is a little different.

The moment you out yourself, the chase is on. Security guards who believe excessive force is a myth are determined to bring you down. You have to stay one step ahead while finding time to slip out your spring roll for unsuspecting ladies.

I got caught up in the frenetic pace of this game right away. At first, it was just a wild free-for-all, running around, flapping open my coat at everyone and everything. After many frustrating deaths, I got into the gristle of it, developing strategies for displaying my man-meat.

I’ve learned that when it comes to score, it’s not the number of peeps, but the length of the look that matters. It barely counts if you blow by in a blur. To rack up points, you have to give your “victims” the opportunity to revel in your glory. Sure, they shriek and run away, but that’s because they’re so impressed.

To aid in your escape from those that want to limit your freedom of expression, there are various objects you can knock down as you run by. If you time it right, you can stun pursuers by dropping the available items on top of them. This gives you the critical extra time you need to show off.

As you progress in levels, the playfield grows with you. Higher scores are a slightly easier because there are more available viewers. Score multipliers increase with each pair of lady-eyes who witness your junk-jangling antics.

My only complaint about the gameplay is how much my fingers started to hurt after a long session. No, not because of anything inappropriate. I just kept trying to go faster. Apparently pressing the keys harder doesn’t achieve that, but it’s hard to convince yourself of that when you have six security guards breathing down your neck.


There aren’t any. Really. When I launched the game, it auto-pulled my Steam account name for the leaderboard. I noticed that the last character in my name was dropped. It was a relatively small flaw, and I assumed it was due to a character limit. In the options I saw I could edit my name and I was able to add back the missing letter. Problem solved.

Wish List

There isn’t much I would add to this game. A simple concept that has been well-executed doesn’t leave a lot of room for improvements. However, one of the things I would like to see is more levels. Having only three areas to explore left me feeling a little cheated. There are so many other places where I need to wave my willie. Restaurants. A lingerie store. A book shop. Once you’ve unlocked all the achievements, perhaps a police station level for an extra tough challenge?

Also, I would like to see an option for different difficulty settings. This might complicate the Leaderboard, but it could be solved by only registering scores from “Normal” play mode. The game is fairly challenging in its default setting which is why an easier option would make it more accessible to different players. Of course, there are always people that like it “hard,” and they should have a setting too.


The Verdict

The gameplay isn’t deep, the content isn’t even slightly politically-correct, and there aren’t enough levels. That said, Intensive Exposure is a stupidly-fun game that delivers exactly what it promises, with a few great surprise laughs along the way. Definitely worth it.

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Phoebe Knight

Phoebe Knight is a freelance writer and novelist. She cut her baby teeth on the original King’s Quest, and has loved gaming ever since. Phoebe’s favorite games are usually weird ones with quirky storylines, but she has also logged an embarrassing volume of hours in sweeping open-world fantasy games like Skyrim and Witcher 3.



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