David Von Hoffman

David Von Hoffman

David is a fine purveyor of snark, has passion for wine both boxed and canned, thinks Yummy Mummy was the best monster cereal and tries his darndest making playlists comprised of reggaeton and K-pop. David will fight you over what the greatest tea is (Lapsang souchong being the correct answer) enjoys travel and historical cookery. He also finds it odd that a goblet is a container and not a wee goblin.

Monday, 25 September 2017 05:24

Oriental Empires Review

Oriental Empires shall surely frustrate some players, though that really boils down to his or her shortcomings, not the any of the title. You shouldn’t be upset about historical accuracy: plagues happened, bandits are terrible, and — who would have thought — peasants hate building things for their oppressive overlords because they’d rather be with their families. Sitting down and learning how to be a sovereign to the people and not just field marshal to armies will open players up to a superb experience in the genre. The foundations of other efforts in the genre may show, but ultimately, Oriental Empires builds upon them anew, just like real life.

Thursday, 21 September 2017 09:22

Life is Strange: Before the Storm Review

Life is Strange: Before the Storm plays like a cutscene with a point-and-click element that is a joy; no button combinations or consulting a grainy minimap: Daedalus himself designed the levels. The title deals with weighty issues wrapped in stunning visuals and peppered with a comprehensive soundtrack by real artists. This addition to the franchise is a must-play.

Monday, 18 September 2017 10:00

Empyre: Lords of the Sea Gates Preview

 What I played, I enjoyed. However, Empyre: Lords of the Sea Gates feels like it could use something more, as parts of the dialogue felt clunky; the musical and ambient sound overtly monotonous; the story intriguing, but not fully fleshed out. But, these are all minor musings. Ultimately, Empyre: Lords of the Sea Gates completes exactly what it set out to: create an entertaining addition to the top-down RPG genre.

I enjoy being a filthy casual, much to the chagrin of my online friends. Allow me to wax nostalgic for a mo, taking you back to the space year of 1989 and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the NES.